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Life without Sex? Are you kidding me? Bite your tongue, I just won't have it!
Have you ever thought what your life would be like without sex? I hadn't really gave it much of a thought before, then one day I met Lilly online. She is one of the sweetest ladies that I have ever met and will always have a special place in my heart. Over time, as we got to know one another, she told me her story. You see, her husband was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. Yes in the place where most men don't want to discuss or will deny they have anything wrong.
The most unfortunate truth about this type of cancer is that it affects your ability to function sexually. The seriousness of this is often taken too lightly and affects couples in ways that you and I may never experience or imagine in our lifetime, but then again, what if we do? How would we deal with it?
Lilly came to me asking me to create some type of awareness about this cancer to my readers because of how it has affected her life.. After some thought and some discussion with Lilly, it was decided the best awareness was to tell it like it is. Regardless if you are a man or woman, please take the time to read her story. It may save a friend, a family member or yourself from experiencing what Lilly has experienced. It may even save a life. Here is Lilly's story……..
It’s been eight years since I have had sex of any kind let alone the wild sex that I am used to having in my life. In 2003, my husband was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer at the age of 57. This Cancer develops in the gland cells in the prostate. This is a walnut size gland that is in front of the rectum and underneath the urinary bladder. The outcome was a blessing….he survived it, not all men do.
After a routine test, the doctor discovered the swelling and called for a biopsy which tested positive for cancer. He explained he needed a procedure call a “Radical Prostectomy” which could leave him with ED (erectile disfunction) and incontinence. The surgery was to be 3 hours and his blood would be needed for the back prior to the operation. When he was told he had the cancer we were both in shock, how could this be, this shouldn’t happen to us…. But it did and now we must deal with it, to get through this horrible chapter in our lives so we could move on to what faced us next.
Before his surgery we were having sex every night knowing we may never be able to have that intimacy between us again. The sex was great and plenty of it.
The day came for his surgery but went 8 hours not 3 and I was terrified. He had lost all his blood so the infusion was required and he required a vent for air. But it was not over for him. After the surgery the doctor told him he couldn’t get it all and still needed radiation for 8 weeks. Was a tough time for both of us but we got through it.
The cancer still hadn’t gone so he required Lypron shots for a year. The side affects caused massive weight gain, he was tired and having trouble breathing. Diabetes off the charts and still the cancer. It had been a long ride, but it was talking its toll on me as well. I know that the main goal was for him to survive this cancer but being a very sensual woman, I longed to be touched in those places, made love to like before and it wasn’t to be. I was feeling lonely, depressed and helpless at the same time that I couldn’t do anything about it. No one was there to help me though all what I was going through, nobody. After all the procedures he had gone through sex was now not an option for us any longer. He was feeling like he wasn’t a man and knew there was no sex for him anymore and it was driving him crazy too. We had a good sex life but now it was over.
It has been 8 long years since the cancer. I have had no sex with him or any man, no affairs, nothing. Masturbation was the only thing that I have left and I need more. He has become my friend not my husband and I need zest back in my life Most women eventually leave their husbands and there are many times that I have considered this. I get depressed, angry and lonely and feel like I’m the house maid for the children and grandchildren that come into our home to live. What about me, my needs, my wants? I feel that I have fallen out of love with him now. I don't like when he touches me as its not the same when it's one sided. I am scared to leave him in case he gives up and dies before his time, but I am miserable with my life the way it is.
I wanted to write this article to help other men and women, their hubby’s their boyfriends or even just their friends to have that PSA test young in life to prevent what our relationship and lives have gone through. It can be caught early and all this prevented so you can lead a normal life with sex and compassion and yes even love. I do pray to God to give me patience and understanding to get through this. I am an honest and loving person and have always been a good wife and mother. I won’t lie, I was kinky and enjoyed the wild side of sex and love but everything is gone now and I can’t deal with that loss anymore. I need to have that back in my life again.
If there are readers out there that can offer advise to me, support me in my decisions or if you think im crazy for staying this long, I want to hear from you. All this has me confused and I don’t know what I should do. There has been opportunity to walk away but I haven’t yet and I don’t know what to do.
Lilly…
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